
I must explain why this picture is so perfect for this story. Taken a couple of years ago, this is my daughter, who is attempting to climb up the giant spider web after the BIG kids… my older daughter, and Geri’s son lol!
This week’s Write on Edge prompt offered three choices, all with the Olympic Spirit. Geri and I chose this one:
Synchronized Diving
Partner up with another Write on Edge writer. You each have 450 words to write about a conflict between two characters; each writer should represent a single character’s point of view.
Margo glared at her big sister. Bliss had blindly waved the kids on, saying “Sure!” without even bothering to look at the playground rules, or the sign that said “Equipment intended for use by children ages five through twelve.”
The cousins, ages three and four (and just barely four, not even four and a half,) were already attempting to climb the ginormous structure.
Even knowing it was futile, Margo had to speak up. “Bliss, this is the big kids’ playground. There’s another one for the smaller kids just over—“
“Good grief, Margo,” as usual, Bliss didn’t even let her finish her sentence. “You’re the one who doesn’t bother watching your own kids. They’ll be fine as long as we’re right here.” Bliss jiggled nine-month old Jenna against her chest, wrapped tightly in some kind of primitive cloth thing that was draped and knotted in some complicated way.
Margo held securely onto two-year-old Taylor’s hand. It was bad enough that the three and four year olds were on the dangerous structure, the last thing she needed was to have her toddler go racing after them. Fortunately, Taylor always seemed to sense her mother’s unease and stayed close. “But look at the sign…” Margo’s voice was carefully insistent; she made sure her tone was nothing but purely respectful as she pointed out the rules, “…it clearly says it’s for children—”
A loud wail interrupted their discussion. Sure enough, the cousins had fallen and hurt themselves, probably while jostling to see who could get to the top first. They always seemed to bring out the worst in each other. Margo hadn’t seen, since she’d had to argue with her atrociously arrogant and careless sister. She clenched her jaw, meeting her sister’s gaze for one brief moment before rushing to her daughter’s aide.
All she needed to know was captured in that one brief moment of eye contact. The passing of blame. Bliss’ refusal to accept that she was wrong. She probably thought it was somehow Margo’s fault that the girls were hurt.
Sometimes… being family is just not enough reason to let my kids play with this horrible person’s kids.
Click here to read Geri’s story, Bliss.
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Wow, Margo is kind of wound a bit tight, isn’t she? She must be the oldest! I like how you make your character seem petulant and unforgiving. Neither sister is willing to accept responsibility–sounds like an average holiday in my family!
Thanks! Actually, Margo’s younger, but with just 450 words it doesn’t matter too much.
I remember watching America’s Funniest Videos and there was a Mom videotaping her hubby saying “Don’t worry! So what if he’s too young for this playground? He’ll be fine…” and right then the kid falls down (unhurt, but still…) My own hubby insisted they would have been fine if Mom hadn’t distracted Dad by nagging him. So, instant conflict! Geri and I can both identify with the conflict that comes with sisters who grow up and have kids of their own, so this was a perfect prompt for us.
There’s nothing wrong with loving your kids, Margo, and they don’t come with instruction books.
I give your team a 10!
Loved reading the “two sides” to this story! They fit together so well. And I love it how both pieces used the same last sentence. Completely perfect.
Great job with the other perspective! I love how each sister came to the same conclusion in two drastically different ways.
great alternate perspective on that one!
Loved seeing the two sides
In some respects you can relate to both. I can see the point of Margo but I think she is also setting up poor Taylor to be a nervous clingy child!
Thanks all! I’m glad the reader can relate to both women. We didn’t set out to do a good vs. evil story; I wanted so badly for the reader to understand that both sisters have valid, if conflicting, viewpoints.
I read both the sides of the story. And it is like a complete picture. Good work here.
Although I am more like Bliss and my sister was more like Margo I can see both sides more now that I am a grandmother. My 2 daughters are the same way, one like Bliss and one like Margo. It is kind of funny to watch my 2 daughters and their disapproval of the other’s beliefs. You both did a great job with the story.
Love that you two did the synchronized option!
I think you nailed the judgey, overprotective sister, just as Bliss was the equally judgey free-ranger. Now if we could only get them to stop fighting and spread some love.
Writing with someone is tough, but I think you two really captured both perspectives, letting each of them seem sympathetic in her own way!
Thanks!