The following is an excerpt from my WIP, About Damn Time.
It is a sex scene, and most definitely only for the 18+ crowd.
The reason I’m posting it here and now is that I’m debating whether I can use this as an opening to my story. So far, asking via twitter has resulted in a resounding “No! Don’t do it!” from some very reliable people. Now, I may cut the scene altogether. Then again, it does demonstrate several things right off the bat:
1) This book involves menage.
2) This character is a virgin.
Also, I realized that I went well over ten pages without introducing this character at all. This is the way I introduced her (beyond mentioning her name) in the story as written. I’m considering moving it up closer to the beginning, perhaps even the very beginning.
Aimei felt the warm, soft curves of a woman embrace her from behind, skin to skin. The moist breath on her neck sent shivers down between her breasts, to the place deep inside her where her darkest wishes were kept. They breathed together, the intimacy of their nakedness a comfort to an otherwise lonely soul.
She sensed rather than saw the masculine form join them on the bed. He smelled of salt and paper, an unusual combination that Aimei found intensely attractive. She made herself comfortable as the man and woman made her the center of their embrace.
She felt safe.
She must have drifted off to sleep, but then she realized that there was another set of hands somewhere… she reached her own arms around her bed partner’s neck, and found his hand was simply lying on her thigh. The woman behind Aimei held her tightly, as if Aimei was her security blanket.
The other arms were coming from yet another man, spooning the other woman and reaching around to caress them both. They remained curiously faceless, like the cover of a 21st century romance novel that only showed the characters from the neck down. Aimei enjoyed the touch, and pressed a kiss to the neck that was nearest her lips. Slowly, one kiss led to an intimate touch. A touch led to a caress. A caress led to another kiss, more thorough than the first.
The woman held her and loved her as Aimei rolled onto her back. The feeling of inclusion was intense; the sensation of being desired vying for precedence with the feeling of desiring. Both wishes were being fulfilled.
The man stretched on top of her, and she felt a hard ridge against her stomach. Her knees fell open, willing his body into hers. Gently, he guided himself to her entrance and…
And nothing. Aimei opened her eyes. Her legs were still folded in the lotus, her back ramrod straight. ‘What would that feel like, to have a man’s penis actually inside my vagina?’ She thought.
She had no idea.
The sea was still dark, but a glimmer of light was beginning to show on the horizon. The sun would be up soon.
I didn’t post this here as a teaser, although of course it would be great if you like it and it makes you interested in reading more! I put this here because it might end up on the cutting room floor. I am ACTIVELY seeking input, criticism, opinions and comments.
Specifically: Would this make a good opening to the story? Would it be acceptable if it was somehow a “prologue” chapter? It’s less than 400 words. Also (spoiler alert) a very similar scene will definitely take place later in the story, and it won’t be a dream!
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