They made him go to brunch on a Tuesday.

The bastards.

They even had the nerve to call it brunch when it didn’t start until one p.m.

He was starving.

Introductions were made. Non-optional social conventions were honored. Or, if not exactly honored, at least the proper motions and facial expressions were all performed at the appropriate times.

At least, he was pretty sure they were appropriate times…. He only got the usual odd looks. Nothing out of the ordinary.

And then, the horror…

It was a buffet!

Three people actually used their fingers to select something instead of the utensil that was provided.

One person actually licked their fingers after doing so, then reached for another slice of cheese!

It’s a good thing I’m lactose intolerant…

Bread, fortunately, was plentiful. He had to elbow his way past a few shorter people in order to reach the tray of fresh tomatoes, instead of the one some people had already touched. Lettuce was more difficult. It was being used more as a garnish than an actual dietary option, but he found a piece that covered the square bread more or less evenly.

And then he was at a loss. Shaved roast beef, peppered turkey, some kind of ham with a sweet glaze. There was even vegetarian sushi for those so inclined.

And then he saw them, at the end of the line. They were with the desserts. He took one, balanced his drink in one hand, and looked for a place where he might possibly be able to eat without being required to engage in conversation, or social interaction of any kind.

Seated at last, he removed the bacon from the top of the maple-frosted donut. Carefully, he removed all the trace of sugar with his napkin.

He then added the last required piece to his lunch (not brunch) and tuckered down.

Because it was Tuesday.

This post was written for a prompt from Write on Edge  which was the picture of the BLT above.

I chose to do the prompt without the cheese.

At lease, without the dairy kind… 🙂

The shortlink for this post is http://wp.me/p1rMYd-eT

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